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Craig Ferguson

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It's a JOKE!

 
Craig Ferguson

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"In the end, we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's being continually retold in an accent too thick and too strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke. The soul is its punchline."

 
Tom Robbins
 

... they said, "Sir, we want to tell you a joke." I said, "You don't have time to tell me a joke." They said, "Oh, you gotta hear this one." So I came in, they shut the door, and they said, "Here's"— I said, "What's the joke?" I said, "What's the joke?" They said, "9/11. Saddam Hussein. If he didn't do it, too bad. He should've! Because we're gonna get him anyway." I said, "But that's not funny." I said, "That's not very funny." They said, "It sure isn't."

 
Wesley Clark
 

Check this joke out: If you wanna talk to me after the show I'll be...f**kin'...surprised. I'm gonna have to have some liner notes for that joke like, "During that joke, he points to the back." So people get the full experience. I'm gonna do a bunch of jokes that require actually seeing me. Then the CD will piss people off.

 
Mitch Hedberg
 

No, it's a joke. I thought gamers liked jokes... Oh, I get it. Not when the joke's on you. Your bad. Jack Thompson

 
Jack Thompson
 

Please note: if you think the above is offensive, it is of course a joke and you did not get it. If you do not find it offensive, it is of course not a joke, and you did not get it. This is not a joke. Get it?

 
Erik Naggum
 

It is — or seems to be — a wise sort of thing, to realise that all that happens to a man in this life is only by way of joke, especially his misfortunes, if he have them. And it is also worth bearing in mind, that the joke is passed round pretty liberally & impartially, so that not very many are entitled to fancy that they in particular are getting the worst of it.

 
Herman Melville
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