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Zach Galifianakis

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You shaved your head for V For Vendetta. Did you also shave your V for Vagina? (to Natalie Portman)

 
Zach Galifianakis

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The toothed vagina is no sexist hallucination: every penis is made less by every vagina, just as mankind, male and female, is devoured by mother nature. The vagina dentata is part of the Romantic revival of pagan myth. It subliminally present in Poe’s voracious maelstrom and dank, scythe-swept pit. It overtly appears in the bible of French Decadence, Huysmans’s A Rebours (1884), where a dreamer is magnetically drawn towards mother nature’s open thighs, the “bloody depths” of a carnivorous flower rimmed by “swordblades.”

 
Camille Paglia
 

Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave, too."

 
Mitch Hedberg
 

Woman's reproductive organs are far older than man's and far more highly evolved. Even in the lowest mammals, as well as in woman, the ovaries, uterus, vagina, etc., are similar, indicating that the female reproductive system was one of the first things perfected by nature. On the other hand, the male reproductive organs, the testicles and the penis, vary as much among species and through the course of evolution as does the shape of the foot — from hoof to paw. Apparently, then, the male penis evolved to suit the vagina, not the vagina to suit the penis.

 
Elizabeth Gould Davis
 

The idea of a band nowadays is 5 pretty boys, one with a tattoo, one with a shaved head, and on and on. What the f**k is that? I mean, I like Britney Spears, I think she's pretty, but I'm not from the Mickey Mouse Club-I'm from the Godzilla Club!

 
Ozzy Osbourne
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