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I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love. Jesus' words have become so perverted over time — it's been like a game of telephone. If he existed, Jesus would f**kin' kill himself.
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Interview with boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel for Esquire magazine (January 2007)

 

Sarah Silverman

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"I feel like sometimes that I was born, that I'm not meant for this society because everyone here is a f**king hypocrite. Everybody says they believe in God but they don't do God's work. Everybody counteracts what God is really about. If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me? I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even ... They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us. But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."

 

Mike Tyson

 

The Crusades were, "We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Wait, we have Jesus, too! He's a prophet in our religion! We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Do you? … Well, we kill you for your dark skin, for Jesus was a white man from Oxford!" "No, he wasn't! He was from Judea! Dark-skinned man, such as we!" "… Really? Look, we've come all this way. Would you mind awfully if we hacked you to bits? Just for the press back home."

 

Eddie Izzard

 

Now let us gather into one bouquet, from the King's garden, these seven fragrant flowers: Jesus the Son of God; Jesus our sin-bearer; Jesus the giver of eternal life; Jesus the keeper of our undying souls; Jesus the hearer of our prayers; Jesus the chastener who can turn crosses into crowns; and Jesus the wonder-worker who changes us into eternal likeness unto Himself! These flowers will keep sweet till heaven dawns.

 

Theodore L. Cuyler

 

The words of the Bible that you believe in today are the words of a betrayed Jesus. The apostles betrayed not only Jesus but also his words. His words were betrayed and Jesus was also personally betrayed. Did Heaven labor for four thousand years to establish Jesus just so he might be betrayed? No, not at all. Why do you believe in Jesus? You must believe in Jesus in order to fulfill the hope of God and to ease the pain of Jesus. Without caring whether you go to Heaven or hell and even if you go to hell, you should fulfill Jesus' hope. Even if you become the prince of hell, you should believe in order to fulfill God's hope. But people say, "Even if Jesus perishes and Heaven fails, all that needs to happen is that I go to the Kingdom of Heaven." This attitude is worse than criminal. This kind of faith is faulty in essence. Today the road of the Unification Church members is the road of setting this kind of Christianity straight.

 

Sun Myung Moon