Sarah Silverman
Jewish-American actress, stand-up comedian, writer, singer and musician.
I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that, I'm such a pessimist … he's actually half-white.
When God gives you AIDS — and God does give you AIDS — make lemon-AIDS!
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".
I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving.
[holds up an egg] This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.
The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.