Mort Sahl
Montreal-born stand-up comedian.
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
I found people looked better when they laughed.
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. (1987)
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning 50 feet off shore, he'd throw you a 30 foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way. (1973)
People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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