Mel Brooks
American actor, director, and screenwriter.
Igor (limping off): Walk this way — and Dr. Frankensteinlimps off after him.
Impoverished Paris Street Merchant (Jack Carter): Rats, rats for sale. Get your rats. Good for rat stew, rat soup, or the ever-popular ratatouille.
Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
King Richard: From this day forward, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as...'Johns'!
Dr. Frankenstein:: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor:: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.
Lonestar: That's all we needed, a Druish Princess!
Excuse me, is this England?
Dark Helmet : So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
You know Cuneiform? You know Sanskrit? It's neither of those.
Sheriff Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!
If they [presidents] can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Townspeople: A black sheriff?
Blinkin: He's Black?!
Ahchoo: Why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.
Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.
Hope for the best. Expect the worst.
Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
Will Scarlet Blinkin, fix your boobs, you look like a bleeding Picasso.
Radar Officer: I've lost the sweeps, the bleeps, and the creeps! [Explains via vocal sound effects]
Dark Helmet [aside to Colonel Sandurz]: That's not all he's lost.
Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!