Mel Brooks
American actor, director, and screenwriter.
President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!
If they [presidents] can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Igor (limping off): Walk this way — and Dr. Frankensteinlimps off after him.
Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.
Hope for the best. Expect the worst.
Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
Will Scarlet Blinkin, fix your boobs, you look like a bleeding Picasso.
Radar Officer: I've lost the sweeps, the bleeps, and the creeps! [Explains via vocal sound effects]
Dark Helmet [aside to Colonel Sandurz]: That's not all he's lost.
Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!
Who's the dummy writing this show?!
Tomás de Torquemada: It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull.
LSD as Adolf Hitler: Heil Baby!
Sheriff Bart: Where the white women at?
Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
Max Bialystock: That's it, baby, when you've got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!
Max Bialystock: I'm wearing a cardboard belt!
Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?
Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess...screw.
Sheriff Bart: Well let's play chess!