Joe Orton (1933 – 1967)
English playwright.
McLeavy: My duty is clear.
Truscott: Only the authorities can decide when your duty is clear. Wild guesses by persons like yourself can only cause confusion.
Fay: Your explanation had the ring of truth. Naturally I disbelieved every word.
Usual messages from the heads of the establishment. The Queen from Windsor, the Pope from Rome: Pilate and Caiaphas celebrating the birth of Christ.
Mrs Prentice: Have you taken up transvestism? I'd no idea our marriage teetered on the edge of fashion.
McLeavy: Has no one considered my feelings in all this?
Truscott: What percentage do you want?
McLeavy: I don't want money. I'm an honest man.
Truscott: You'll have to mend your ways then.
Truscott (shouting, knocking Hal to the floor): Under any other political system I'd have you on the floor in tears!
Hal (crying): You've got me on the floor in tears!
Fay: I'm innocent till I'm proved guilty. This is a free country. The law is impartial.
Truscott: Who's been filling your head with that rubbish?
Fay: I can't be had for anything. You've no proof.
Truscott: When I make out my report I shall say you've given me a confession. It could prejudice your case if I have to forge one.
I was approached to do a film script for the Beatles. I said it would have to be an absolutely original script. Paul McCartney said do whatever you like. I said that means you'll never be able to do it.
On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, "Melancholia? Ad nauseam."
Prentice: Unnatural vice can ruin a man.
Rance: Ruin follows the accusation not the vice.
McLeavy: Where did I go wrong? His upbringing was faultless. Did you lead him astray?
Dennis: I was innocent till I met him.
Hal: You met me when you were three days old.