Thursday, November 05, 2026 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Jay London

Daily updated quotes!!

American stand-up comic whose one-liner jokes made him a favorite on NBC's second and third seasons of Last Comic Standing.

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Jay London

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

London quotes

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

London

Thank you.

London Jay quotes

I was born nine months premature.

London Jay

Take my life, please.

Jay London quotes

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

Jay London

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

London Jay quotes

I went to a urologist. He told me I could go at any time.

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