Henry Beard
American humourist, co-founder of National Lampoon magazine.
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Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis popinquus ades.
If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close.
Quantum illae stolae pependisti?
You paid how much for that dress?
Taedium pellucidorum.
An eye condition that keeps you from looking at people's slides.
Canis meus id comedit.
My dog ate it.
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Nullae satisfactionis potiri non possum.
I can't get no satisfaction.
Stercorem pro cerebro habes.
Claim it means: That's certainly food for thought.
What it really means: You have shit for brains.
Anates tuas in acie instrue.
Get your ducks in a row.
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Lege atque lacrima.
Read-em and weep.
Having done these things, they made the sacrifices prescribed by custom lest they be found lacking in filial piety.
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!
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