Craig Ferguson
Scottish-born actor/comedian and current host of The Late Late Show.
By the way, _____ was a name I used to dance under.
I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.
Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you’ll make it.
"He's quiet as well, especially if you stalk him."
[bends over] *errgh* Sorry for making that noise, but … that's what happens when you get older. One day what happens is that you bend over, and you never come back.
You die alone in your house, and your cat will eat you.
You know who doesn't like _____? Al-Qaeda!
[with a fist-shake] Take that, ____.
Change is the nature of God’s mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.
It's a great day for America, everybody.
[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.
I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.
Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken.
Between safety and adventure I choose adventure.
There are bound to be some lies here, but I’ve been telling them so long they’ve become truth, my truth, as close as I can get to what really happened.
Craig Ferguson: Do you do therapy?
Hugh Laurie: I see a gentleman once a week.
Craig Ferguson: I love it, I'm a great convert.
Hugh Laurie: Therapy?
Craig Ferguson: No, just seeing a gentleman once a week.
I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page.