Brian Clevinger
Author of the webcomic 8-Bit Theater, he comic miniseries Atomic Robo, and the novel Nuklear Age.
"You'll pardon me for being quick, but at this very moment brownies are coming into their ultimate form. Well, penultimate form, really. Let's not dwell on what happens afterward, or I'll lose my appetite."
"Sorry about the delay. We were having unholy connection problems of the damned. But things seem to be working fine now."
"I ate soup from a bowl made of bread. This is the kind of heady decadance that will be detailed in the webcomic history books. My decline into soupy madness will be but a footnote of the 8BT story, itself a footnote. But the bread, man. You can eat your soup, and then eat the bowl. There's no turning back now. A decent life in the light of, uh, decency is behind me. Now it's wall-to-wall bread bowls and hookers."
"I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me. It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once."
"X-Men Legends 2, it would be so much easier to enjoy you if your characters would ever shut up."
"LA is a hole where everything good goes to die. Every year I come here, it's like a contest to see how short I can cut the trip for the next year. Eventually I'm just going to run inside, take a picture, and fly home. The next year I'll just rent some time on a satellite and get pics from orbit. But everything is shiny."
"[Sony's] sheer dedication to unbridled optimism for the PS3 is amazing. Really. If scientists could find a way to harness that energy, it'd be the next revolutionary industry to be shut down by Big Oil."
Japan, You're weird. We get it.