In 2002: "I think the average person thinks I'm a f**king nut and I deserve whatever happens to me."
Mike Tyson
I'm better at criticism than social engineering, so I always have a hard time answering good practical questions like "what can the average person do?" Of course, there are obvious answers, like the average person can get involved in local politics, the average person can get involved in violence prevention programs in his or her own neighborhood, the average person can engage with local radio and TV talk shows on crime. I'm afraid, though, that's not a very good answer. I'm best at knowing what I can do personally, which is write and think about issues like these, point out problems, and hope that people like you can do a better job than I can of figuring out where to go next. I've always seen the formulation of public policy — and solutions to social problems — as a collaborative effort. I've always felt that my part of the job was to analyze and criticize in the hope that other people might use my work to forge solutions.
Wendy Kaminer
You can always tell when Bush is in trouble. He always brings out 9/11. 9/11 is the cudgel that he waves. As far as he's concerned, it's "Open Sesame". 9/11 is his way of saying, "Okay, I'm f**king up now, but remember four years ago? That was cool." I think he thinks he can use it for anything. "9/11. On 9/11 we were attacked. And so, I should get to bang your wife." What? "Now, there are some nay-sayers out there who think I shouldn't bang your wife, well, that's the cut-and-run crowd."
Jon Stewart
So I'm hanging out with all my buddies and um... I realized something. Think of the group of people you've known the longest in your life. Think of the group of friends that you've hung out with the most. Maybe you are all here tonight. And this is what I've realized. I had an epiphany and here it is right here. There's one person in every group of friends that nobody f**king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts. When that person is not around your little base camp, your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Karen is always a douchebag. Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche. And when she's not around you just look at each other go: "God Karen, she's such a douchebag. Until she walks up and then you're like: "Hey what's up Karen? Kaaaaren, what's up Karen?" There's always that one person and I'm looking out and some of you guys are like: "Hmmm, I disagree." Well you're the person...you're the person nobody likes."
Dane Cook
Tyson, Mike
Tyson, Neil deGrasse
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