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Whenever a snowflake leaves the sky,
It turns and turns to say "Good-by!
Good-by, dear clouds, so cool and gray!"
Then lightly travels on its way.
--
Snowflakes (1894).

 

Mary Mapes Dodge

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In practice, attempts to sort out good erotica from bad porn inevitably comes down to "What turns me on is erotic; what turns you on is pornographic."

 

Ellen Willis

 

Guess what? Wheels have been round for a really long time, and anybody who "reinvents" the new wheel is generally considered a crackpot. It turns out that "round" is simply a good form for a wheel to have. It may be boring, but it just tends to roll better than a square, and "hipness" has nothing what-so-ever to do with it.

 

Linus Torvalds

 

Hamm: Look at the ocean!
(Clov gets down, takes a few steps towards window left, goes back for ladder, carries it over and sets it down under window left, gets up on it, turns the telescope on the without, looks at length. He starts, lowers the telescope, examines it, turns it again on the without.)
Clov: Never seen anything like that!
Hamm (anxious): What? A sail? A fin? Smoke?
Clov (looking): The light is sunk.
Hamm (relieved): Pah! We all knew that.
Clov (looking): There was a bit left.
Hamm: The base.
Clov (looking): Yes.
Hamm: And now?
Clov (looking): All gone.
Hamm: No gulls?
Clov (looking): Gulls!
Hamm: And the horizon? Nothing on the horizon?
Clov (lowering the telescope, turning towards Hamm, exasperated): What in God's name could there be on the horizon? (Pause.)
Hamm: The waves, how are the waves?
Clov: The waves? (He turns the telescope on the waves.) Lead.
Hamm: And the sun?
Clov (looking): Zero.
Hamm: But it should be sinking. Look again.
Clov (looking): Damn the sun.
Hamm: Is it night already then?
Clov (looking): No.
Hamm: Then what is it?
Clov (looking): Gray. (Lowering the telescope, turning towards Hamm, louder.) Gray! (Pause. Still louder.) GRRAY! (Pause. He gets down, approaches Hamm from behind, whispers in his ear.)
Hamm (starting): Gray! Did I hear you say gray?
Clov: Light black. From pole to pole.

 

Samuel Beckett

 

[on Isaiah Washington being fired] What if the person that he called a faggot...was acting like a faggot? You don't have to be gay to act like a faggot. You don't even have to be a man to act like a faggot. Anybody can act like a faggot. Let me give you an example: I love Gwen Stefani. I think No Doubt is one of the best groups in the world; I keep a No Doubt CD in my car and I sing that shit to the end. I'm like "don't speak, I know just what you're sayin', oh, please stop explainin'"...I won't even get out my car 'til the shit's over. I'm like "you know you're good, you know you're real good...la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, [high pitched] Don't! Don't!" I f**kin' love me some Gwen Stefani! Now, if I'm drivin' my car, and I'm at the light, and you in the car behind me, and the light's red, and I'm just sittin' there blasting some Gwen Stefani and I'm like "ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" And you in the car behind me and the light's red--cool. But then the light turns green. And I don't see it, because I'm in Gwen Stefani heaven. And I'm just goin' "Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" Now the light starts f**kin' blinking! It's gettin' ready to turn red again, and I *still* don't see it, and I'm in my car going "This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas! This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" Now if you in the car behind me, and that light's gettin' ready to turn red, and I'm going "this shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" If you in the car behind me, you have the right to go "HEY, FAGGOT! The light's about to change!" Shit, even Elton John would call me a faggot at that moment. It's not the word, it's the context in which the word is bein' said!

 

Chris Rock

 

When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: I have no idea. I don't even know what riboflavin is. I do know I eat a lot of it. For example, I often start the day with a hearty Kellogg's strawberry Pop-Tart, which has, according to the label, a riboflavin rating of 10 percent. I assume this means that 10 percent of the Pop-Tart is riboflavin. Maybe it's the red stuff in the middle. Anyway, I'm hoping riboflavin is a good thing; if it turns out that it's a bad thing, like "riboflavin" is the Latin word for "cockroach pus," then I am definitely in trouble.

 

Dave Barry