Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife. Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find what you are looking for, it is not clear then how to respond to it.
--
Bk. 1, ch. 1.Malcolm Bradbury
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And everyone's reading, you have to read, you can't be on the tube without reading, reading is very important. You get on on the morning and every single person is reading the Metro. Everyone, everyone. [imitates line of people reading newspaper] Why doesn't one person just read it to the carriage?
Michael McIntyre
"THE most important thing to keep in mind while making a record is always, always, always be sure you check the sheets before sleeping in someone else’s bed. When I was making the first Celldweller disc I was piss broke and I had to sleep wherever I could find a place to. Someone offered a place for me to stay one night and I was so exhausted I crashed without doing a thorough inspection of the sheets. Unfortunately for me, I woke up the next morning to discover I had been sleeping in his accumulated dried-up ejaculate deposits. Apparently he had been unloading his nutsac on the sheets and just leaving it there. Needless to say, we had a new respect and bond for each other after that incident. Oh, and I never slept in his bed again, regardless of how tired I was."
Klayton
In an extreme instance, in which there is a Propervirt of less than 0.9%, the TEXT OF THE PRESENT PROSPECTUS may likewise undergo an ABRUPT change. If, while you are reading these sentences, the words begin to jump about, and the letters quiver and blur, please interrupt your reading for ten or twenty seconds to wipe your glasses, adjust your clothing, or the like, and then start reading AGAIN from the beginning, and NOT JUST from the place where your reading was interrupted, since such a TRANSFORMATION indicates that a correction of DEFICIENCIES is now taking place.
Stanislaw Lem
I once wrote, in The Information, that an Englishman wouldn't bother to attend a reading even if the author in question was his favorite living writer, and also his long-lost brother — even if the reading was taking place next door. Whereas Americans go out and do things. But Meeting the Author, for me, is Meeting the Reader. Some of the little exchanges that take place over the signing table I find very fortifying: they make up for some of the other stuff you get.
Martin Amis
When I'm not drinkin' baby, you are on my mind. When I'm not sleeping baby, when I'm not sleeping mama, when I'm not sleeping, you know you'll find me cryin'
Jackson C. Frank
Bradbury, Malcolm
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