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Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?

 

Larry the Cable Guy

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Now, I doubt any of you would prefer a rolled up newspaper as a weapon against a dictator or a criminal intruder. Yet in essence, that is what you have asked our loved ones to do, through an ill-contrived and totally naive campaign against the Second Amendment.

 

Charlton Heston

 

As beatific as Gandhi was, I'm sure there was some guy in a Bombay bar going, "I knew Gandhi...he was a prick. He was sucking down a pork hot dog, hitting on Mother Teresa. He kept saying "Who's your diaper daddy, who's your diaper daddy?"

 

Robin Williams

 

I’m gonna rock you baby to sleep
I’m gonna make you crazy over me
I’m gonna hold you like you’ve never been held before
And love you till you tell me you can’t love anymore
I’m gonna shake your emotion right down to your soul
And then I’m gonna love you all over in and out of control
If this is how love is supposed to feel
Baby I know I’ve fallen head over heels
I’m gonna rock you baby.

 

Toby Keith

 

My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby’s almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog.
My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I have had to be the one to tell her that she couldn’t have one. But now the baby wants a dog, my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife. They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I ask the baby, who is a girl, “Whose girl are you? Are you Daddy’s girl?” The baby says, “Momma,” and she doesn’t just say it once, she says it repeatedly, “Momma momma momma.” I don’t see why I should buy a hundred-dollar dog for that damn baby.

 

Donald Barthelme

 

The duty of the moment is what you should be doing at any given time, in whatever place God has put you. You may not have Christ in a homeless person at your door, but you may have a little child. If you have a child, your duty of the moment may be to change a dirty diaper. So you do it. But you don’t just change that diaper, you change it to the best of your ability, with great love for both God and that child.... There are all kinds of good Catholic things you can do, but whatever they are, you have to realize that there is always the duty of the moment to be done. And it must be done, because the duty of the moment is the duty of God.

 

Catherine Doherty