"The AP2 thing...we were in New York, we had some time, they were down in the CellDweller Studios, and Klayton's like 'Yeah, you guys wanna crash at my house?' 'Sure.' 'Oh, by the way, we're doing a song.' Buka's like 'Yeah man, write some lyrics, let's go in there and put you on there.' 'All right, let's do it.' Done. Did it in one morning. I woke up, and tracked, and we split. And that's how we do it, because it's like survival. It's not catered, we don't...I don't have my people call his people, we work it out, I fly in...it's not like that. We just try to do whatever we can, 'cuz we're all starving artists just trying to do our thing." Mark Salomon of Stavesacre Nov 2001
Klayton
[On 2 Live Crew] One song was 'Suck My Dick'. Not please. Not honey, do you have a minute? 'Suck My Dick'. Like soomething the Beatles coulda rolled out. "Hey, Jean, would you like to write 'Suck My Dick'?" "Well, I don't know, do we have time? Sounds like such a hard song to write." That was the song! 'Suck My Dick'! F**kin' album sold two million records with a song called "Suck My Dick"! Like the guy got up one morning and went, "you know, today I wanna write a song. Today I want to write a love song. I want to write a song that tells how a woman and a man feel when they meet each other for the first time and they fall in love; I want to put into words feelings that men have always had, but they've never been able to express. All right, I think I'll call this song..." [Pauses, then the audience yells "Suck My Dick"] Yeah. It's that song that's gonna be on that f**kin' Golden Oldie rap album in ten years... "Where were you when you heard 'Suck My Dick?'" Remember those old days?
Sam Kinison
I asked that question once ["Are there actually women in the world who do not like to give blowjobs?"] and a woman yelled "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said "Yeah. Almost broke my back." It's that one vertebra, I swear to god it's that close. I think that's the next thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory, and a fervent prayer! And now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about," ...but guys, you know what I'm talking about. I can speak for any guy here tonight: guys, if you could blow yourselves? Ladies, you'd be here alone right now...watching an empty stage. ...Boy, my parents are proud of me! "Bill, honey, you still doing that suck-your-own-cock bit?" "Yeah, ma." "Good, baby, that's such a crowd-pleaser."
Bill Hicks
I celebrated my 21st birthday here, and that was the last time I drank in El Paso. [Audience cheers] You folks don't mess around, you know? Everyone was going, "It's your birthday," I was like, "It's my birthday!" "Do you want a drink?" "SUUURRREE!" And I kept drinking and drinking and drinking, and then the staff asked me, "Do you want to party?" I was like, [Slurring]"I want to party." "Do you want to dance?" [Slurring] "I wanna dance!" I passed out, you guys, and woke up at a place called the O.P. [Audience laughs and cheers] Yeah, the reason you people in El Paso are laughing is because you KNOW! I had no idea it was an "Alternative" night club. I'm in El Paso, I thought O.P. stood for: Orale prese! That is a bad way to sober up, you guys. I'm just dancing, you know [Imitates beat-box music] Boom, boom, boom, hey! Boom, boom, boom, hey! Boom, boom, boom- [Jumps like something's behind him] HEY! [Audience laughs] And behind me was this little guy going, [Little effeminate voice] "Pikachu!"
Gabriel Iglesias
Nash: You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth: "this is where the big boys play," huh? Look at the adjective—"play". We ain't here to play. Now, he said last week that he was gonna bring somebody out here—I'm here. You still don't have your three people, and you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mein Kampf!
Bischoff: No trouble here, just speak the peace...
Nash: Yeah, no trouble 'cause you know I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where's your three guys? What, you couldn't get a paleontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared?! You ain't got enough guys off of dialysis machines to get a team?! Yeah, where's Hogan? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of Blunder in Paradise?! Where's the Macho Man, huh?! Doin' some Slim Jim commercial?! Hey, we're here. You wanna say something?
Bischoff: Look, I don't have the authority right here, right now. You want a fight? Your fight isn't with me. You want three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm gonna be in Atlanta, I'm gonna be in the offices of WCW, I'll try and get you your fight. And you know what? Live, this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys wanna show up? You want a fight? You show up, I'll see if I can get you your fight.
Nash: [to Hall] I don't know about you, but...they love us in Baltimore.
Hall: Hey, big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash, maybe these punks want a fight.
Nash: [to Bischoff] Bring what you got. The measuring stick just changed around here, buddy—you're looking at it.Kevin Nash
"I was leaning against the wall in front of the punk club CBGB's when I saw a few familiar faces so I said hello. Just then, Klayton jumped out of his tour mini-bus and greeted me. It was inspiring watching Celldweller in action at this favorite venue of mine. Celldweller combines elements of theater, projected video, heavy guitar and ballsy vocals with good melodies and electronic trance music. Celldweller kicked everyone's a**es at CBGB's (not that art is a competition) especially mine. These guys are totally professional and Klayton is a rock star ready to be launched into outer space." Billy Lamont Jul 2004 note: spelling and grammatical changes were made to this quote
Klayton
Klayton
Klee, Paul
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