I’ll have him out of there before he hit the floor.

 

I’ll have him out of there before he hit the floor.
--
Interview on Charlie Rose

 

John Wooden

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Truscott (shouting, knocking Hal to the floor): Under any other political system I'd have you on the floor in tears!
Hal (crying): You've got me on the floor in tears!

 

Joe Orton

 

My hotel doesn't have a 13th Floor because of superstition, but c'mon man...people on the 14th Floor, you know what Floor you're really on. "What room are you in?" "14.01". "No, you're not. Jump out of window, you'll die earlier!".

 

Mitch Hedberg

 

I walk up the stairs to my fourth-floor apartment, all alone. I let myself into my tiny little studio, all alone. I shut the door behind me. Another early bedtime in Rome. Another long night's sleep ahead of me, with nobody and nothing in my bed except a pile of Italian phrase books and dictionaries.
I am alone, I am all alone, I am completely alone.
Grasping this reality, I let go of my bag, drop to my knees, and press my forehead against the floor. There I offer up to the universe a fervent prayer of thanks.
First in English.
Then in Italian.
And then — just to get the point across — in Sanskrit. 
And since I am already down there in supplication on the floor, let me hold that position as I reach back in time three years earlier to the moment where this entire story began — a moment that also found me in this exact same posture: on my knees, on a floor, praying.

 

Elizabeth Gilbert

 

You look at the floor and see the floor. I look at the floor and see molecules.

 

Dan Aykroyd

 

(talking about how girls like mystery) Next time your lady leaves the room, take a dump on the floor! 'Cuz there is nothing more mysterious than a dump on the floor! And it always starts a conversation, am I right? Honey, what happened? You better hold me 'cause I'm afraid.

 

Dave Attell