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Jack Benny

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Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!

 
Jack Benny

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Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?

 
Jack Benny
 

You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.

 
Dave Attell
 

Wilson was a visionary who liked to identify himself with "forward-looking man"; Harding ... was as old-fashioned as those wooden Indians which used to stand in front of cigar stores.... Wilson thought in terms of the whole world; Harding was for America first. And, finally, whereas Wilson wanted America to exert itself nobly, Harding wanted to give it a rest.

 
Frederick Lewis Allen
 

So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
'Cause fire is the Devil's only friend
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died.

 
Don McLean
 

Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?

 
Jack Benny
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