Jack: I can't understand it. On your show you always win.
Jack Benny
Pelorat sighed. “I will never understand people.”
“There’s nothing to it. All you have to do is take a close look at yourself and you will understand everyone else. We’re in no way different ourselves... You show me someone who can’t understand people and I’ll show you someone who has built up a false image of himself.”Isaac Asimov
So we're trying to breed Sluggo and get pick of the litter, so we put him with the female dog for a week. And to make sure it takes, we take him to the vet and they do the artificial insemination, and now it don't take shit to get Sluggo to go to the vet! So the last time we go there, the lady says, "Mr. White, if you'll just come with me, I'll show you how to do this, so next time you don't have to bring the dog, you can just bring the sperm." And I'm like [laughing] "No, you go ahead and jack off the dog, he follows me around too much as it is." He'll be following me around like, "Jack me off! Jack me off! You did it once!" Do it yourself. "I don't have any thumbs. [sobbing] I don't have any goddamn thumbs! Now jack me off, you piece of shit!" [feigned shock] Do we talk to Daddy like that? "Please? Please, jack me off, you piece of shit, I don't have any goddamn thumbs."...I've lost my mind.
Ron White
"To show you how cosmically irrelevant the Warren Report is for the most part ... one of the exhibits is classified in the front as, 'A Study of the Teeth of Jack Ruby's Mother.' Even if Jack Ruby had intended to bite Oswald to death, that still would not have been relevant." - Jim Garrison, [Gil Jesus, The Garrison Investigation, video interview.]
Jim Garrison
Jack: When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
Jack Benny
Have you seen the land living by the breeze?
Can you understand the lights upon the trees?
Tell me all that you may know
Show me what you have to show
Tell us all today if you know the way to blue...Nick Drake
Benny, Jack
Benserade, Isaac de
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