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Never hate a song that's sold a half million copies.

 

Irving Berlin

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"Circle of Dust to me is dead. It has been dead. The only reason I ever did 'Goodbye' (as Celldweller) was because I never really officially released that (Circle of Dust version of the song) anywhere. I released it on some small compilation that I think might’ve sold a hundred copies if I remember correctly, and that’s ridiculous. So I’ve always liked that song enough that I felt like I wanted to do it. Really, I’m calling it a Celldweller track. I’m not even really nodding my head towards Circle of Dust at all."

 

Klayton

 

[On 2 Live Crew] One song was 'Suck My Dick'. Not please. Not honey, do you have a minute? 'Suck My Dick'. Like soomething the Beatles coulda rolled out. "Hey, Jean, would you like to write 'Suck My Dick'?" "Well, I don't know, do we have time? Sounds like such a hard song to write." That was the song! 'Suck My Dick'! F**kin' album sold two million records with a song called "Suck My Dick"! Like the guy got up one morning and went, "you know, today I wanna write a song. Today I want to write a love song. I want to write a song that tells how a woman and a man feel when they meet each other for the first time and they fall in love; I want to put into words feelings that men have always had, but they've never been able to express. All right, I think I'll call this song..." [Pauses, then the audience yells "Suck My Dick"] Yeah. It's that song that's gonna be on that f**kin' Golden Oldie rap album in ten years... "Where were you when you heard 'Suck My Dick?'" Remember those old days?

 

Sam Kinison

 

Hemingway hated me. I sold 200 million books, and he didn't. Of course most of mine sold for 25 cents, but still... you look at all this stuff with a grain of salt.

 

Mickey Spillane

 

Why is McDonalds still counting? How insecure is this company? 40 million, 80 billion million jillion killion tillion...who cares? Is anyone really impressed by that any more? "Ooh, 89 billion sold? All right, I'll have one! I'm satisfied!" I'd like to tell the CEO of McDonalds, "Look. We all get it, okay? You've sold a lot of hamburgers. Whatever the number is, just put up a sign, 'McDonalds: We're Doing Very Well.' We are tired of hearing about every goddamn one of them."

 

Jerry Seinfeld