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H. L. Mencken

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A man may be a fool and not know it — but not if he is married.

 
H. L. Mencken

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I've been married eight and a half years. I like being married, too. I like being married for two reasons. One, I got really tired to dating, and two, I got really tired of exercising. I don't understand these couples who get married and continue to exercise and eat healthily. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you can't let yourself go? It's not as if you have to be attractive anymore; the race is over, take off the uniform.

 
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One fool at least in every married couple.

 
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I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close.

 
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Ordinarily we speak only of a married man’s unfaithfulness, but what is just as bad is a married man’s lack of faith. Faith is all that is required, and faith compensated for everything. Just let understanding and sagacity and sophistication reckon, figure out, and describe how a married man ought to be: there is only one attribute that makes him loveable, and that is faith, absolute faith in marriage. Just let experience in life try to define exactly what is required of a married man’s faithfulness; there is only one faithfulness, one honesty that is truly loveable and hides everything in itself, and that is the honesty toward God and his wife and his married estate in refusing to deny the miracle.

 
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All of my gentlemen callers were sons of planters and of course I assumed that I would be married to one and raise my family on a large piece of land with plenty of servants. But man proposes — and woman accepts the proposal! — To vary that old, old saying a little bit — I married no planter! I married a man who worked for the telephone company!

 
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