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You're 18 years old, you're in a 7-11, you don't know shit about shit and PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

 

Denis Leary

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There's so much bullshit around now in pop and hip-hop, and everybody's talking about the same f**king shit, like get the f**k outta here. That shit is horrible. I don't hate anybody, but that shit pisses me off. It's bullshit. So I wanna change things up and make people go, "Aw, man, this is the hot shit. Eamon talks from the heart. He's real."

 

Eamon (singer)

 

The only time I'll wear depend is when I'm 70 years old. That's when I can't hold my shit within so I shit on myself, 'cuz I'm so sick and tired of shittin' on everybody else.

 

Lil Wayne

 

The fact that until recently the word “shit” appeared in print as s— has nothing to do with moral considerations. You can’t claim that shit is immoral, after all! The objection to shit is a metaphysical one. The daily defecation session is daily proof of the unacceptability of Creation. … The aesthetic ideal of the categorical agreement with being is a world in which shit is denied and everyone acts as though it did not exist. This aesthetic ideal is called kitsch. … Kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and the figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.

 

Milan Kundera

 

With all the horrible, horrible shit that your priest is pumping into your kid's head, his dick should be the least of your worries, honestly. That's just a little mouthwash and a few years of therapy'll get rid of that. That Jesus shit will torture you for a lifetime.

 

Doug Stanhope

 

If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you go "Baby, this shit we got together, it's so good we gotta get the government in on this shit. We can't just share this commitment 'tweenst us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit, baby. It's hot!"

 

Doug Stanhope