"Oh, Christ! We're all gonna die. You seen the kinds'a casualty lists she comes up with?"
David Weber
I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was "HH", so I went to the side, I found the "H" button, I pushed it twice. F**kin'...potato chips came out, man, because they had an "HH" button for Christ's sake! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of "HH". I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god, dammit dammit.
Mitch Hedberg
"How the hell am I gonna see the company name when I'm busy rolling underneath the f**king truck? I can give you serial numbers, that's the best I can do for you, for christ sakes, the goddamn gear box crushing me in the ground, and you're asking me for the f**kin-the name of the business? What do I look like, a... a tomcat? a nightcrawler?" (from "1-800-How's My Driving")
Jerky Boys
"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown.... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off."
"You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them."
"Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."Harper Lee
"Would you like red or white wine with your piece of vulcanised lizards cock from the moon? How about an extra bread roll, there to dip in your otter vomit pate?" And you're going, "Red or white wine, well, what would you like, darling? I don't know, what would you like?", all to block out the thought that's in your mind which is - "We're gonna die, we're all gonna die, we're all gonna die, right now. The plane is made of metal, the wings are made of metal, we're all eating, and I'm the only non-terrorist aboard, we're all going to die."
Dylan Moran
Weber, David
Weber, Max
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