Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
Dave Attell
I once had on a Lance Armstrong bracelet and a What Would Jesus Do bracelet and I rubbed a blind kid's eyes and he could see. But he wasn't used to the light, it was bright, walked into traffic, was killed instantly. Okay, those of you that are laughing, I'm going to call you half-full, because you're remembering the most important part: The bracelets are working!
Daniel Tosh
When I was your age, my grandfather bought me a ruby bracelet. It was too big for me and would slide up and down my arm. It was almost a necklace. He later told me that he had asked the jeweler to make it that way. Its size was supposed to be a symbol of his love. More rubies, more love. But I could not wear it comfortably. I could not wear it at all. So here is the point of everything I have been trying to say. If I were to give a bracelet to you, now, I would measure your wrist twice.
Jonathan Safran Foer
"THE most important thing to keep in mind while making a record is always, always, always be sure you check the sheets before sleeping in someone else’s bed. When I was making the first Celldweller disc I was piss broke and I had to sleep wherever I could find a place to. Someone offered a place for me to stay one night and I was so exhausted I crashed without doing a thorough inspection of the sheets. Unfortunately for me, I woke up the next morning to discover I had been sleeping in his accumulated dried-up ejaculate deposits. Apparently he had been unloading his nutsac on the sheets and just leaving it there. Needless to say, we had a new respect and bond for each other after that incident. Oh, and I never slept in his bed again, regardless of how tired I was."
Klayton
Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If the Eiffel Tower were now representing the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle-knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.
Samuel Langhorne (Mark Twain) Clemens
Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If the Eiffel Tower were now representing the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle-knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.
Mark Twain
Attell, Dave
Attenborough, David
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z