Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a f**kin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, "I can't even put gas in my plane!"
Chris Rock
Don't do that... By the way, this is not Oprah furniture; you jump on this, and it will be firewood... Oprah's got the real thing, this stuff...this is about as real as that [points to cityscape backdrop] right there.
Craig Ferguson
Cause you know my joke is that I love her (Oprah Winfrey) but she thinks she's Jesus? And when she gets a paper cut she's like "Oh, stigmata?". No, Oprah. Get off the cross and do your show!
Kathy Griffin
There is nothing nice about Steve Jobs and nothing evil about Bill Gates. Gates is a good man.
Bill Gates
I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be...ahm....voluptuous!
Kathy Griffin
Bill Gates is a very rich man today ... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
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