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I have lost the use of everything but my reason, though my head is entrenched in three night-caps, and my throat, which is very bad, is fortified by a pair of stockings twisted in the form of a cravat.
--
Quoted in Life and Letters of Lewis Carroll (1898), p. 5

 

Charles Dodgson (bishop)

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I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Does anyone know why a pair of sunglasses cost more than a big screen television? Does anybody know? I went to the Sunglass Hut to buy a new pair of sunglasses after I lost my pair. And I see a pair that I like. I don't love them, I like them. $309. So I asked the salesman, very politely, I said, "How do you sleep at night, you f**kin' prick?" And I told him--this is true--that I bought a 25" color television at Wal-Mart for $218. And he says, "Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it." "...I'm listenin'." "These sunglasses block 100% of all UV rays." "No, apparently you don't get it; this thing decodes a digital signal it picks up from outer-f**king-space!" Then I found out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead...

 

Ron White

 

UK TV is worse than it's ever been. For every piece of evil brilliance like ABSOLUTE POWER (which I don't think I've told you non-Brits about before), there's five things like WIFE SWAP. The one I saw had an obvious sub, whose husband had entrained her to dress in a hip-slit cheongsam and black stockings for dinner, swapped into a family where the man of the house was a monosyllabic chav whose head would have had a Victorian anthropologist proclaim a whole new species of subhuman. I'm not entirely sure how Channel 4 hasn't lost its license.

 

Warren Ellis

 

He was only about as tall as Dorothy herself, and his body was round as a ball and made out of burnished copper. Also his head and limbs were copper, and these were jointed or hinged to his body in a peculiar way, with metal caps over the joints, like the armor worn by knights in days of old. He stood perfectly still, and where the light struck upon his form it glittered as if made of pure gold.

 

L. Frank Baum

 

If I should die to-night
And you should come in deepest grief and woe—
And say:—"Here's that ten dollars that I owe,"
I might arise in my large white cravat
And say, "What's that?"

 

Benjamin Franklin King