Thursday, November 21, 2024 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Bill Cosby

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My parents never smiled... because I had brain damage. My wife and I don't smile because our children are LOADED with it!! Oh, my parents smile now, whenever they come over to the house and see how much trouble I'm having. Oh, they have a ball! "Havin' a li'l trouble, huh, son?!"

 
Bill Cosby

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But the reason why the curse works is because all children have brain damage. Now, for those of you without children, let me describe the brain damage. You come into the room with a Coca-cola, you set it down to grab the newspaper. The child comes walking in, picks up the drink, and you say "Give me that! Didn't I tell you not to drink it?" The child says, "Uh-huh." You say, "Tell me what I said." "You said for not for to drink your drink." "Every time I tell you that, don't I? When I have a drink, don't you drink it." "Uh-huh." "Now tell me what I said." "You said for not for to drink your drink!" "That's right!" So you set the drink down, turn to grab the paper, the child picks it up again and quickly starts to drink it! So you say, "Give me that! Didn't I just tell you to..." "Uh-huh." "Then why did you drink it?" "I don't know!"...brain damage!

 
Bill Cosby
 

No kid really wants a cool parent. "Cool" parents, when I was a kid, meant parents who let you smoke weed in the house – or allowed boyfriends to sleep over with their daughters. That would make Sarah Palin “cool.” But, as I remember, we thought those parents were kind of creepy. They were useful, sure, but what was wrong with them that they found us so entertaining? Didn’t they have their own friends?

 
Anthony Bourdain
 

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.

 
Mitch Albom
 

One thing I will say is the education was good — even religion classes. I appreciate the knowledge I have — the imagery still appeals to me. But otherwise, it's pretty f**ked up. I remember in the eighth grade, during a parent/teacher conference, a nun came down and spoke to my parents. It's funny because I had great grades, did very well on tests, and got along well with others but she told my parents she was "very concerned". My parents were like "what for?" She told them "I think your son might worship the devil..."

 
Davey Havok
 

There is some irony in the fact that children imagine that parents can do what they want, and parents imagine that children do. "When I grow up..." parallels "Oh to be a child again..."

 
Shulamith Firestone
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