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(after Phil Jupittus had insulted Michael Jackson, and David Gest had said 'be nice!') Aw, be nice to the baby-dangling freak.

 

Bill Bailey

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Michael Jackson? That's all I gotta say. ...He's become a punchline. He has! Michael Jackson is a punchline. To any joke you want. If you ever forget the punchline to a joke, just say 'Michael Jackson.' "Two Jews walk into a bar...Michael Jackson!" "Why did the chicken cross the road? Michael Jackson!" "So the farmer brings his daughter to the dinner table--Michael Jackson!" It works for f**king anything!

 

Lewis Black

 

Making this crowd happy is the second easiest job you could ever have. First easiest...whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create "reasonable doubt." How hard can that be? I don't even have a law degree and I think I could get Michael Jackson, y'know? I would just go, "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... there he is! That's all I have. Y'all get a good look at my boy? See if you think he's capable of anything out of the ordinary. There he is." But it's a tough thing to prosecute Michael Jackson, y'know? Because everyone's entitled to a jury of their peers! You could run the vacuum up and down the gene pool 24/7 without suckin' up this much of whatever that has become. He has no peers. He's peerless. So why am I pickin' on poor little mutated Michael Jackson? Because Michael Jackson is a cautionary tale for the rest of us, folks. Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

 

Richard Jeni

 

The three Michaels - Michael Schumacher, Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. I wanted to become Michael Jackson when I was young. It was painful to realise that I didn’t have the voice…

 

Sebastian Vettel

 

You know how you either grow up in a Michael Jackson house or a prince house? for me it was Michael Jackson. I could never decide whether I wanted to be Michael Jackson or marry him. I don´t care what people say about him now because he´s a f... genius. That´s it - The end! He was robbed of his childhood, which is why he surrounds himself with children. When you´re around kids you can be a little kid yourself and pretend that life is magic and you don´t have to be one of those sweaty people going to work every day. I completely see what he´s doing

 

Michael Jackson

 

I've missed you too! A lot of people have been wondering where I have been, and it's not very exciting news, and it's not very good news, it's just that I've been very ill. I've been very sick for a while and still trying to get better, slowly but surely. ... Anyway, I was so overwhelmed —
Overwhelmed,
by all the
nice things you
folks said to me!
It was so nice to read everything that everyone was saying, and very, very sweet. I appreciate all the — oh, it made me cry, and — and it was just so nice, and I wanted to say a big 'Thank you!' to everyone for being so supportive and so nice to me. ... I will be back in full swing, as much as I can, when I can, and in the mean time, I miss you all very, very much.

 

Ysabella Brave