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Mo: I wish it were me instead of you.
Sydney: Yeah. I'm getting the sodium pentothal. You have to go sit with my parents.
--
#416, "The Basic Anxiety" (2003), collected in Invasion of the DTWOF (2005)

 

Alison Bechdel

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I told you my reasons
For the whole revival.
Now I'm going outside to have
An ice cold beer in the shade.
Oh, I'm going to listen to my 45's.
Ain't it wonderful to be alive
When the rock 'n' roll plays, yeah.
When the memory stays, yeah.
I'm keeping the faith.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Keeping the faith.

 

Billy Joel

 

Mo: The man's clearly a sex addict. He's out of control. Lying, suborning perjury...
Sydney: It's this puritanical culture that's the problem. Do people really expect someone with the ruthless lust for power it takes to become president to spend evenings at home with his stamp collection?
Mo: Oh, please! You wouldn't be quite so indulgent if it was Newt Gingrich getting blowjobs in the Oval Office.
Sydney: Thank you for that image.

 

Alison Bechdel

 

Mo: I miss the good old days. Smash the family! Smash the state!
Sydney: What about Clarice and Toni and Raffi? D'you want to smash their family?
Mo: Please, Sydney. I'm expressing an ideological conviction, not talking about real people.

 

Alison Bechdel

 

If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leaving me behind
Baby, bring it to me, bring your sweet lovin'
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah).

 

Sam Cooke

 

I asked that question once ["Are there actually women in the world who do not like to give blowjobs?"] and a woman yelled "Yeah, you ever try it?" I said "Yeah. Almost broke my back." It's that one vertebra, I swear to god it's that close. I think that's the next thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory, and a fervent prayer! And now all the guys are going, "Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about," ...but guys, you know what I'm talking about. I can speak for any guy here tonight: guys, if you could blow yourselves? Ladies, you'd be here alone right now...watching an empty stage. ...Boy, my parents are proud of me! "Bill, honey, you still doing that suck-your-own-cock bit?" "Yeah, ma." "Good, baby, that's such a crowd-pleaser."

 

Bill Hicks