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Raffi: I can too marry Stone Cold Steve Austin when I grow up!
Bill: Clarice, what are you teaching this kid?
Bill Jr.: You can not, 'cause I'm gonna marry him, and we're gonna kick your butt!
--
#332, "Tag Team" (2000), collected in Post-DTWOF (2000)

 

Alison Bechdel

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My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky;
Contrariwise, my blood runs cold
When little boys go by.
For little boys as little boys,
No special hate I carry,
But now and then they grow to men,
And when they do, they marry.
No matter how they tarry,
Eventually they marry.
And, swine among the pearls,
They marry little girls.

 

Ogden Nash

 

Wot cher! all the neighbours cried,
Who yer gonna meet, Bill,
Have yer bought the street, Bill?
Laugh! I thought I should've died,
Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road.

 

Albert Chevalier

 

Clarice: To most people, it's obvious that the Whitewater allegations and the sexual harassment suit are politically motivated. And everyone else is too jaded to care if Bill f**ks his cat.
Raffi: F**ks!
Toni: Do you want the honor of recording that under "Baby's first word," or shall I?

 

Alison Bechdel

 

And my Saab is so great I'm gonna marry it.

 

Tori Amos

 

Toni: Well... straight couples get respect when they marry. Maybe we need to make some kind of symbolic affirmation of our commitment to one another!
Clarice: You mean...
Toni: Yes! Let's open a joint checking account!
Clarice: Oh, darling! But this is so sudden!

 

Alison Bechdel