Clarice: [proposing to Toni] I'll be your lawyer if you'll be my accountant.
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#76, "An Unusual Plight" (1990), collected in New, Improved! DTWOF (1990)Alison Bechdel
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Toni: Well... straight couples get respect when they marry. Maybe we need to make some kind of symbolic affirmation of our commitment to one another!
Clarice: You mean...
Toni: Yes! Let's open a joint checking account!
Clarice: Oh, darling! But this is so sudden!Alison Bechdel
Clarice: [getting cold feet] There's still time!
Toni: We can just call everyone and say we're terribly sorry but something came up and we have to leave town!
Clarice: ...But what about the five gallons of baba ganoush, and all those tofu pups?
Toni: Shit. I forgot. Well, I guess we'll just have to go through with it, then.Alison Bechdel
Clarice: To most people, it's obvious that the Whitewater allegations and the sexual harassment suit are politically motivated. And everyone else is too jaded to care if Bill f**ks his cat.
Raffi: F**ks!
Toni: Do you want the honor of recording that under "Baby's first word," or shall I?Alison Bechdel
Mo: I miss the good old days. Smash the family! Smash the state!
Sydney: What about Clarice and Toni and Raffi? D'you want to smash their family?
Mo: Please, Sydney. I'm expressing an ideological conviction, not talking about real people.Alison Bechdel
If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my original plan to graduate and become a chartered accountant, perhaps a barrister lawyer, and gotten a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice wife and kids, and gotten a country club membership, and then I would have killed myself.
John Cleese
Bechdel, Alison
Beilin, Yossi
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