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Toni: Well... straight couples get respect when they marry. Maybe we need to make some kind of symbolic affirmation of our commitment to one another!
Clarice: You mean...
Toni: Yes! Let's open a joint checking account!
Clarice: Oh, darling! But this is so sudden!
--
#7, "Getting Respectable" (1987), collected in More DTWOF (1988)

 

Alison Bechdel

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Clarice: [getting cold feet] There's still time!
Toni: We can just call everyone and say we're terribly sorry but something came up and we have to leave town!
Clarice: ...But what about the five gallons of baba ganoush, and all those tofu pups?
Toni: Shit. I forgot. Well, I guess we'll just have to go through with it, then.

 

Alison Bechdel

 

Clarice: [proposing to Toni] I'll be your lawyer if you'll be my accountant.

 

Alison Bechdel

 

Clarice: To most people, it's obvious that the Whitewater allegations and the sexual harassment suit are politically motivated. And everyone else is too jaded to care if Bill f**ks his cat.
Raffi: F**ks!
Toni: Do you want the honor of recording that under "Baby's first word," or shall I?

 

Alison Bechdel

 

Mo: I miss the good old days. Smash the family! Smash the state!
Sydney: What about Clarice and Toni and Raffi? D'you want to smash their family?
Mo: Please, Sydney. I'm expressing an ideological conviction, not talking about real people.

 

Alison Bechdel

 

Miriam: Look, don't fixate on the due date. It's just an approximation. Only 5 percent of babies actually arrive on it. Most come later, in fact.
Clarice: Great! How much later? Two days? Three?
Miriam: Let me give you a friendly tip, Clarice. Don't get too hung up on keeping a tight schedule for the next, say, eighteen years or so.

 

Alison Bechdel