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OK, because if you're unsure, you can always pull your trousers down and we can check. (On whether or not Michael Sophacles is Jewish.)

 

Alan Sugar

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The three Michaels - Michael Schumacher, Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. I wanted to become Michael Jackson when I was young. It was painful to realise that I didn’t have the voice…

 

Sebastian Vettel

 

I don’t think anyone can take Michael’s place. Michael is Michael and he always will be. To the sport he’s a legend, like other legends, like other great champions – Prost, Senna – you know, he’s in the same league and there’s no way you can replace someone. [...] For sure Michael is the one that everyone is looking up to in Germany and that won’t change for quite a long time. I think the records he has set are quite unique, so even though at the moment he gets a lot of shit, he probably knows what he’s doing. I think if you look at his face, he seems relaxed, so he knows what’s going on and I think that’s also a quality a champion has to have.

 

Michael Schumacher

 

I had to pull about twenty pieces of broken glass out of my hand using tweezers and antiseptic cream. I'm never going to have a game of arm wrestling with Michael Howard again.

 

Gyles Brandreth

 

Michael didn’t care if we knew everything he did for people, because God knows. God knows his intentions, and knows the results. I know my brother is in a very secure, serene, peaceful place. When we live on earth, we are judged not only by who we are, but also by what we do for others. When we leave, we take the good and bad deeds with us. Michael took nothing but good deeds with him.
Michael and I were raised to believe there is a Supreme Being. Having success told us God had a plan for us. Michael used his success in a positive way. He knew that it’s not what you get from others, it’s what you do for others. We all achieve things in life, but the greatest achievement is doing God’s work. Michael was a man of God because he was doing His work. Eternal life is the ultimate reward from God – and Michael has eternal life.

 

Michael Jackson

 

Michael Jackson? That's all I gotta say. ...He's become a punchline. He has! Michael Jackson is a punchline. To any joke you want. If you ever forget the punchline to a joke, just say 'Michael Jackson.' "Two Jews walk into a bar...Michael Jackson!" "Why did the chicken cross the road? Michael Jackson!" "So the farmer brings his daughter to the dinner table--Michael Jackson!" It works for f**king anything!

 

Lewis Black