"Say Ronald Reagan, what the f**k are you doing in my house? Get out of here right now, and don't you ever come back over here again! If you come back this way, I will shoulder the weapon and shoot the living shit out of you!" - I Can't Drive
Wesley Willis
» Wesley Willis - all quotes »
I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "No". So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. "Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? Liar!" My fan f**king lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit.
Mitch Hedberg
Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock shit f**k!"
Bob Saget
And now, the American people, proud of our country, proud of our freedom, proud of ourselves, will reject the San Francisco Democrats and send Ronald Reagan back to the White House.
Jeane Kirkpatrick
Willis, Wesley
Wilmot, John
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