Yquotes.com

 

A man who had a heart attack while he was alone in his house was saved when his dog brought him the phone so he could call for help. However, it should be noted that for every one of these heartwarming stories, there's a million others where the dog just sits there like a moron and watches you die.

 

Tina Fey

» Tina Fey - all quotes »

Similar quotes

 

Noble the house was, nor seemed built for war,
But rather like the work of other days,
When men, in better peace than now they are,
Had leisure on the world around to gaze,
And noted well the past times' changing ways;
And fair with sculptured stories it was wrought,
By lapse of time unto dim ruin brought.

 

William Morris

 

We need to have the phone lines melted this week. We need people to melt the phone lines. Not to the House members, you don't need to call them, and you don't need to call the Republican Senators. It's the Democrat Senators that we need to melt their phone lines.

 

Michele Bachmann

 

Dennis McCauley's Phone Number Is (private phone number) I called him yesterday, asking him to call me back at (Jacks phone number) so that I could correct an error (yet another one) in a story here at GP about me. But guess what? Dennis won't call me back. That's because he's not a real journalist, just a freelancer who is a biased video game industry jihadist.
Please contact Dennis and ask him to return his phone calls. Thanks. Jack Thompson

 

Jack Thompson

 

We sleep in peace in the arms of God when we yield ourselves up to His providence, in a delightful consciousness of His tender mercies; no more restless uncertainties, no more anxious desires, no more impatience at the place we are in, for it is God who has put us there, and who holds us in His arms. Can we be unsafe where He has placed us, and where He watches over us as a parent watches a child? This confiding repose, in which earthly care sleeps, is the true vigilance of the heart; yielding itself up to God, with no other support than Him, it thus watches while we sleep. This is the love of Him that will not sleep even in death.

 

Francois Fenelon

 

I feel that I must attack this creed of blood, which does much to keep up the cruel and sanguinary views of barbarous ages about God and man. Will take text, "Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven." Show that Christ brought a new interest into the world; a new vision of God, the loving one; a new view of man, the hopeful and universal one; his death in its character the seal to his perfect life. But we are saved by his doctrine, by the same spirit which animated his life, — we are saved by his life, not by his death, except as it was the necessary moral sequence of his life.

 

Julia Ward Howe