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Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion an you give me some time
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame?
'Cause both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said
Oh my god
--
How To Be Dead

 

Snow Patrol

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Guys I'm going to let you in on a secret. This is going to take a big weight off your shoulders, so I want you to may attention, cause here it comes... If you only have sex with your wife, you can't get caught. [Makes a gesture with his hands on his shoulders] You feel that, guys? Nobody gives a rat's ass. No guy is going to bust in the bedroom door, "White, you motherfu- Is that your wife you're screwing!" (Makes motions like he's having sex and turns and looks over his shoulder and says nothing just gives a look as if to say, "Smart ass!') Actually I may have exaggerated that stroke a little. (Makes motions again, but this time a lot faster.) Ferocious piece of ass. But easily winded.

 

Ron White

 

For me the voice of God, of Conscience, of Truth or the Inner Voice or ‘the still small Voice’ mean one and the same thing. I saw no form. I have never tried, for I have always believed God to be without form. One who realizes God is freed from sin for ever.... But what I did hear was like a Voice from afar and yet quite near. It was as unmistakable as some human voice definitely speaking to me, and irresistible. I was not dreaming at the time I heard the Voice. The hearing of the Voice was preceded by a terrific struggle within me. Suddenly the Voice came upon me. I listened, made certain that it was the Voice, and the struggle ceased. I was calm. The determination was made accordingly, the date and the hour of the fast were fixed.... Could I give any further evidence that it was truly the Voice that I heard and that it was not an echo of my own heated imagination? I have no further evidence to convince the sceptic. He is free to say that it was all self-delusion or hallucination. It may well have been so. I can offer no proof to the contrary. But I can say this — that not the unanimous verdict of the whole world against me could shake me from the belief that what I heard was the true voice of God.

 

Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi

 

THE SERPENT: The voice in the garden is your own voice.
ADAM: It is; and it is not. It is something greater than me: I am only a part of it.
EVE: The Voice does not tell me not to kill you. Yet I do not want you to die before me. No voice is needed to make me feel that.
ADAM [throwing his arm round her shoulder with an expression of anguish]: Oh no: that is plain without any voice. There is something that holds us together, something that has no word —
THE SERPENT: Love. Love. Love.
ADAM: That is too short a word for so long a thing.

 

George Bernard Shaw

 

No no no, too late! Stop! Yeah, come on… I was allowed to challenge for like two seconds, the guy takes like ten… Every time! I can't allowed that stuff to happen! You have any rules in there or what ?! Stop showing me your hand, ok?! Don't tell me to be quite, ok?! When I wanna talk, I talk, allright?! I don't give a shit what he said, I just say he's waiting way too long…

 

Roger Federer

 

I saw a lady on T.V. She was born without arms. Literally, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders... and that was sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't.'" And that to me was kinda worse... in a way... ya know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!

 

Mitch Hedberg