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I would have Simon Cowell sing 'Shiny Happy People' by R.E.M. just to show his true personality.
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About the American Idol judge who was most critical of his performances.

 

Sanjaya Malakar

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I've never seen American Idol but I am grateful to them. That show is one of Fox's biggest moneymakers, and some of that money goes to pay for shows like Prison Break. Simon Cowell's been signing my paychecks and for that I say thanks.

 

Wentworth Miller

 

In those years, when I came to the States, people were always asking me why I didn’t sing anymore. I’d tell them, ‘I sing all around the world—Asia, Africa, Europe—but if you don’t sing in the US, then you haven’t really made it.’ That’s why I’ll always be grateful to Paul Simon. He allowed me to bring my music back to my friends in this country.

 

Miriam Makeba

 

He [Simon Cowell] is actually very lovely in real life. We share the same interests, and he shares my love for animals as well.

 

Leona Lewis

 

"And Clay, I want to say something to you. I think you are one of the few people I've met throughout this competition who can take criticism like a grown up. Learn, You definitely got better, You've lost some of this facial thing which I think was distracting, and You just did a really grown up, fantastic performance. Congratulation."
- Simon Cowell on "Solitaire" -

 

Clay Aiken

 

I can remember the moment she first opened her lips perfectly. We were at a big theatre in Glasgow, 3000 people were laughing their heads off, Simon and Amanda were stifling a chuckle, and then she started to sing.
And I can honestly say it was one of the most extraordinary moments in my perhaps equally unlikely career as a talent show judge.
Because Susan Boyle is not just a good singer, she’s a fantastic singer. Someone whose stunning range, tone and delivery is worthy of comparison to anyone — Elaine Paige included.
As I watched her performance back again last night, I texted Simon in Hollywood: ‘My god, Susan was even better than I remembered — she’s unbelievable.’ He agreed, and I could almost feel his beady little eyes going ‘KERCHING!’ down the line from his new Beverly Hills mansion.

 

Susan Boyle