Russell Brand: What did you say?
Trevor Lock: I just said 'ow'
Russell Brand: Oh yeah, that cleared it up. He probably sank to his knees at that point and screamed 'There is no God!' You probably made him renounce the clergy. He probably went straight off after that and had it off with someone...Russell Brand
» Russell Brand - all quotes »
Matt Morgan: Have you been thinking about your religion/new order?
Russell Brand: Yes I have actually Matt, and I've got a few more theories for it to make it absolutely watertight. We'll all be living on a nice island, vegetarians doing yoga and that. We'll get rid of ideas such as the nuclear family and like in African tribes the word 'mother' will mean all female members of the tribe and the word 'father' will mean all male members. There will be a lot of [wolf whistles] ... and also we're not going to have no more currency, stuff like that, no brain-bending or mind-washing and we'll all be free to explore ourselves although there will be an age of consent and it'll be the same as usual so as people don't go 'Oh no...'.
Matt Morgan: Pretty watertight, isn't it?
Russell Brand: Pretty watertight so far Matt, I'd like to see a political theorist drive a bus through that. If so where did he get his licence? As we're in charge of issuing bus licences and they're not issued to possible dissenters, who are immediately killed on traitor's cove; one of the nicest parts of our island, decorated with all lovely corpses.Russell Brand
Karl Pilkington: And I was high up.
Russell Brand: I'm picturing you as a sort of vigilante Batman figure, looking down over Salford, to see if there's any crimes.
Karl Pilkington: And I was in my pants.
Rusell Brand: Again, like a vigilante Batman figure.Russell Brand
Russell, when asked to give an example of how any statement whatever, say that Russell (a renowned atheist) is the Pope, might follow from the self-contradictory statement 5=2+2, suggested that 3 be subtracted from both sides of this supposed equality; it follows that 2=1, thus two different persons, viz. Bertrand Russell and the Pope, form one person; hence Russell is the Pope.
Bertrand Russell
BNP Member: Listen, you told us that you wanted to come up here to make a politically neutral documentary.
Russell Brand: No, I can't be neutral mate it's too important, I'm not going to let you destroy my f**king planet!Russell Brand
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