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I saw a picture of Prince William, HRH William, in the paper today. He's going bald. I reckon by the end of next year he will be bald and I'm glad about that. Because of his playboy prince status and that, it makes me feel insecure about my own looks.

 

Russell Brand

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Prince William definitely isn't my type, he's too horsey-looking.

 

Keira Knightley

 

William, Prince of Orange, called William the Silent, was the natural leader of the Netherlands at this crisis, and he was chosen by Holland and Zealand as their governor. He was the determined foe of Spanish tyranny, and his strength of mind and farsighted statesmanship gave promise of success. Yet, for the little country of the Netherlands to stand out against the mighty power of Spain would have seemed fool-hardy, had it not been for the fact that the Protestants of Germany, England, and France could be relied upon for aid. In military strength and in the brilliancy of generals, Spain had greatly the advantage. her armies were commanded successively by the greatest soldiers of the time, -Don John of Austria (1576-1578) and after him Alexander Farnese, Duke of Parma. Against their skill was pitted the high courage and inflexible will of William, who, like our Washington, was greatest in the time of difficulty and defeat.

 

William the Silent

 

Chorus [speaking for Aristophanes]: Yet I have not been seen frequenting the wrestling school intoxicated with success and trying to seduce young boys; but I took all my theatrical gear and returned straight home. I pained folk but little and caused them much amusement; my conscience rebuked me for nothing. Hence both grown men and youths should be on my side and I likewise invite the bald to give me their votes; for, if I triumph, everyone will say, both at table and at festivals, “Carry this to the bald man, give these cakes to the bald one, do not grudge the poet whose talent shines as bright as his own bare skull the share he deserves.”
(tr. O'Neill 1938, Perseus)

 

Aristophanes

 

William always scanned the airports and airplanes for little brown guys who reeked of fundamentalism. That meant William was equally afraid of Osama bin Laden and Jerry Falwell wearing the last vestiges of a summer tan. William himself was a little brown guy, so the other travelers were always sniffing around him, but he smelled only of Dove soap, Mennen deoderant, and sarcasm.

 

Sherman Alexie

 

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous —
Almost, at times, the Fool.

 

Thomas Stearns (T. S.) Eliot