Actually I thought it was quite ironic that the product that I use to protect my couch from spilling my Scotch on it was called Scotch-guard. Sometimes, things just work out like that. "Do you have anything to protect from spilling Scotch on something?" (turns around) "Hmm, let me see....here, Scotch-guard" (Amazed!) Perfect, do you have any Vodka-guard? How about Sperm-guard? It's a busy couch.
Ron White
Well, between Scotch and nothin', I suppose I’d take Scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.
William Faulkner
Three days later we went after him again, and this time we got him. Not a mark on him. We got him. We brought him back into our base there and we had a Sea Land container set up to hold prisoners in, and I said put him in there. They put him in there, there was one guard with him. I said search him, they searched him, and then I walked in with no one in there but the guard, and I looked at him and said, "Are you Osman Atto?" And he said "Yes." And I said, "Mr. Atto, you underestimated our God."
William G. Boykin
You've got to stay sharp, on your toes, alert. Always look over your shoulder. Always protect yourself. Don't let your guard down for even a second. There are people who will take advantage of you the moment they see you're not in control. The world's filled with people like that. Nearly everyone you meet is like that. We're animals in a jungle, and we've got to be prepared to fight if we want to survive. You can't trust hardly anyone, hardly anyone at all. Even people who are supposed to like you can turn on you faster than you think. Even friends. People who say they love you are the worst, the most dangerous, the most untrustworthy of all. People who say they love you will pounce when they get the chance. You gotta always remember that they're just waiting for the opportunity to get you. Love's a trick. A cover. A way to catch you off guard. Never let down your guard. Never.
Dean R. Koontz
I was in Chicago in 1994 and at this time I had no thoughts of coming back and playing the game of basketball, Bryon Russell came over to me and said, "Why'd you quit? You know I could guard you." When I did come back in 1995 and we played Utah in '96, I'm at the center circle and Bryon Russell is standing next to me. I said, "You remember what you said in 1994 about, 'I think I can guard you, I can shut you down, I would love to play against you?' Well, you're about to get your chance."
Michael Jordan
(Spoken) So I called my brother... he was living in Austin. He had these friends who were letting him stay on their couch, and I figured they might have a couch that I could stay on. So, I got this ride to Austin, Texas and got to this address my brother gave me, and this guy introduced himself as "Bonehead." And I went in and started asking around; turned out they didn't have the second couch, they just had the one couch, uh, for my brother. But they knew where there was a party, and I thought, well, that's good enough.
Todd Snider
White, Ron
White, Shaun
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