Mel Brooks
American actor, director, and screenwriter.
Who's the dummy writing this show?!
Tomás de Torquemada: It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull.
LSD as Adolf Hitler: Heil Baby!
Sheriff Bart: Where the white women at?
Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
Max Bialystock: That's it, baby, when you've got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!
Max Bialystock: I'm wearing a cardboard belt!
Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?
Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess...screw.
Sheriff Bart: Well let's play chess!
Jim "The Waco Kid": My name is Jim, most people call me... Jim.
Man In Front of Castle: Hey Abbot!
Count de Monet [consistently mispronounced as "money"]: Bearnaise, do we have any of those delicious raisins left?
Bearnaise: You ate yours. These are mine.
Count de Monet: Au contraire, they are mine! I paid for them! Hand them over!
Bearnaise [sotto voce, mimicking]: 'I paid for them! They're mine!' [Blows a raspberry]
Count de Monet: Don't be saucy with me, Bearnaise.
Sheriff Bart [waking up a drunk Jim in jail]: Are we awake?
Jim "The Waco Kid": We don't know. Are we black?
Sheriff Bart: Yes we are.
Jim "The Waco Kid": Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled.
Ahchoo:Man, white men can't jump!!
Angel of Death ain't kissing me! I'm full of garlic!
Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!
Stormtrooper Mel : Don't be stupid, be a smarty
Come and join the Nazi Party!
[explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic] He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. "They're coming, they're coming. The Yiddish, they're coming"
Sheriff of Rotingham King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!
Revolutionary Leader: And now, let us end this meeting on a high note. [Proceeds to sing a sharp high note, followed by the rest of the revolutionaries.]
Count de Monet: It is said that the people are revolting
King Louis XVI : You said it. They stink on ice.