Eddie Mair
Scottish journalist and radio and television presenter, known for his sarcastic style.
"...and if you want to see a picture of Nils
"So those of you listeners who don't want to hear what the weather will be like in six months time... look away now."
Moments later he punched her unconscious. [Pause] No, he didn't, don't send us letters
In the Independent today, it says David Dimbleby will present Any Questions on Radio 4 tonight. And there's a photo of said David to prove it. Jonathan, if you're reading this, take them for every penny they've got.
"David Cameron there, just a short walking distance away from our microphone."
"The population of the United Kingdom has, for the first time, reached sixty million. If they stood on each other's shoulders they would reach perhaps twenty feet in the air before toppling over."
In fact Nick Clarke was in the chair for that edition, as reported on the day's online schedule .
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran ... in one shot on his website he appears to be dressed only in flowers. Oh - here's the page, you'll see what I mean.
"I'm sorry for croaking at you this evening. This is PM, I'm Eddie Mair: the walrus of news."
".... well with me now is Geoffrey Robinson. He was once voted 'After-dinner Speaker of the Year', so if you've had your tea, you're in for a treat"
We asked a minister for an interview - you know the rest.
Mair: "That'll be the police for you now..."
"I've been waiting to be arrested all day. I'm disappointed!" [Mair replies] "We're all with you on that one."
... the judge in the Saddam trial appears to be wearing comedy specs and moustache.
Sinn Fein say, "The British government are buggers".
"...makes my TV work look professional."
... that was an item about a zebra crossing in North London.
Yesterday people were going past my window in t shirts and dresses. But that's the men at the BBC for you.
... and if you want to hear more of that interview, fly to America and watch TV on Sunday night.