Ben Croshaw
British-born Australian based game designer.
So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it. (3 July 2003)
So if you're still playing the game or care in the slightest about having the plot spoiled, try not to accidentally trip, fall forward and highlight all of the following text. (3 June 2009)
I am a consumer, part of the system of capitalism. To the corporations that control our lives, I am nothing but a huge mouth wearing designer jeans, just one of billions, to be cajoled or threatened with advertising into giving my money to people who already have too much. Although I vocally consider this a despicable state of affairs, I buy their loveless food and wear their manufactured garments. I am simultaneously antagonist and component. (7 October 2003)
Michael Atkinson vows to continue to 'fight' violent media. Which seems a bit like trying to turn the tide back with a water pistol. (20 January 2010)
I feel bad when I'm the only person on the bus. It's like I'm the only person who showed up to the driver's birthday party. (28 June 2010)
Religion should be something you keep within the confines of your own head, and we should all recognize how pointless it is to try and make other people see the fairies that live in your brain.
Idea for movie: alcohol-based LXG-style crossover in which buddy heroes Jack Daniels and Jim Beam sail around the world with Captain Morgan. Jack's girlfriend is called Midori and she likes having sex on the beach. Their smartmouth talking pet is the Famous Grouse. (2 June 2011)
My secret? Hm. Well, I think the secret is this. Don't come up with a really ambitious twelve-CD monster for your first project, because it'll be doomed very quickly. For your very first release, make something small. Put as much effort into it as you can muster, but don't feel ressured. Then, for every subsequent release, push yourself just a little bit harder to make a better product. By the time you've churned out your sixth or seventh, you'll have apretty solid reputation.
Humanity will be forever at war as long as there is no common enemy. World peace demands a new Hitler. (16 February 2010)
The cake is vanilla; I asked for chocolate; The tears They will not stop. (Prince of Persia: Emo Warrior)
Most sensitive part of the male human physique, and he places it in almost the exact geological centre of the body, right between the legs, dangling down in it's own special bag. He might as well have painted them fluorescent orange and made the hair above it grow into the words 'your foot goes here'. (Where God Went Wrong)
Rest assured, Mogworld's not being entirely released online. Just the first part. I would still like your money. That would be lovely. (16 December 2010)
"I'm going on a picnic," went Penfold. "And I'm taking anthrax, beer, coffee, doughnuts, estrogen, flamingoes, glue, horses, ink, jelly, Knackwurst, lemonade, murder and Nurofen." (Chapter Fifteen)
But the cruellest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't. (23 March 2008)
On the bright side, however, it means I get to stay at home and stare at a computer screen all day as opposed to go to work and stare at a computer screen all day. (On being sick, 15 May 2003)
Since I long ago decided that I hated kids and never wanted to have them, my reproductive instinct has transferred to my creativity, I've always wanted to create works that will ensure I'm remembered after I die. I don't think I've done that yet, though.
Last night at the bar someone asked me to say something 'hot and sexy'. All I could think of on the fly was 'Hayden Christensen'. (7 September 2010)
The only thing worse than being single on Valentine's day is being single on Valentine's day while living with a couple. (14 February 2010)
How long does it take to shut up a baby? How long does it take to run through the possibilities? Are they hungry, sleepy or sitting around in a pile of shit? If it's the second option I'm sure we can all sympathise. But how long could the process of elimination take?..... I'm sure it's wrong to wish death on a baby, but for the first time in my life I'm actually trying to awaken some kind of latent psychic ability I could use to will the life from the little pillock. Or, fuck it, maybe I'll just walk over and wring it like a flannel. (Travel Notes)
Keep in mind that this is only my opinion, but also keep in mind that I'm always right. (The Only Good Comics on the Internet)