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When I was a practicing alcoholic, I was unbelievable. One side effect was immense suspicion: I'd come off tour like Inspector Clouseau on acid. 'Where's this cornflake come from? It wasn't here before.'
--
The Osbournes television show

 

Ozzy Osbourne

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You know, I talk about doing acid 30 years ago. Rumsfeld must do it daily. Right before he goes out for a press conference: "Oh, hi... I notice the doorknobs are all crawling around the ceiling. Hello! Oh, there's CNN. Oh gee! Look at the big eye on that camera! Oh, God, get it away from me! And the teeth!" ... You think I'm kidding about this guy does acid? And he does the bad stuff. The brown acid. ... Where did this guy come from? What pit of Hell coughed this thug up?! ... Rummy comes out, all acid-headed up, just stoned on his ass - just completely freaked out. "Well, people are waving things at me, coming down the hall... And I don't know, there's stuff JUMPING OUT OF DOORS! ... GIMME SOME NUCLEAR WEAPONS!"

 

Mike Malloy

 

She was an alcoholic. I didn't blame myself for that. The worst problem in the life of any alcoholic is alcohol.

 

Kurt Vonnegut

 

(Monte) Johnson recalled that: "Wilt had such unbelievable endurance and speed that, if he took off running, there wasn't any chance that anybody would keep up with him. He glided around the track and had the grace of a deer. I said to the coach, 'It might look like it helps us to chase him, but it may kill us because you can't catch someone who runs that fast.' After practice, he was the only one who wasn't tired. I never saw him tired."

 

Wilt Chamberlain

 

"But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying. (Cancer is also a side effect of dying. Almost everything is, really.)"

 

John Green

 

Jesus man! You don't look for acid! Acid finds you when *it* thinks you're ready.

 

Hunter S. Thompson