When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself.
Mitch Hedberg
» Mitch Hedberg - all quotes »
We'll have peanut butter crackers and juice and use the bidet!
Bill Allred
"The Schnlitzer-Murphys had diamonds as big as walnuts — "
"That's nothing." Percy had leaned forward and dropped his voice to a low whisper. "That's nothing at all. My father has a diamond bigger than the Ritz-Carlton Hotel."F. Scott Fitzgerald
His was a great sin who first invented consciousness. Let us lose it for a few hours.(From: A Diamond As Big as The Ritz)
F. Scott Fitzgerald
The world admits bears in pits do it,
Even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.Cole Porter
I met Jack Kennedy in November, 1946.... We went out on a double date and it turned out to be a fair evening for me. I seduced a girl who would have been bored by a diamond as big as the Ritz.
Norman Mailer
Hedberg, Mitch
Hedges, Chris
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