David Tennant: "She's quite extraordinary. When I was 14, the first single I ever bought was "Like a Virgin". She was kind of my sexual awakening. I had some full-on posters of her on my wall. I don't know what my parents thought. She still looks damn fit."
Madonna
So we pulled up to this diner, where people told us that we could get some good pie. And I like pie. Do you like pie too? So, we go in there, and we say, "Oh, what kind of pie you got?' And they didn't have sweet potato pie, they didn't have pumpkin pie. They had some cream pies mostly, which is OK with me. So, I got some coconut cream pie. And Governor Strickland, he got lemon meringue pie.
So while we're waiting for our pie, the staff come and they want to take a picture with me because they say, you know, the owner of this dinner is a staunch die-hard Republican, so we want to kind of tease him a little bit by getting this picture with you. So we're taking this picture and suddenly the owner comes out with the pie. And he looks at me and I say, "Sir, I understand that you are a die-hard Republican." He says, "That's right." I said, "How's business?" He said, "Not so good." He said, "My customer, they can't afford to eat out anymore." I said, "Who's been in charge of the economy for the last eight years?" He said, "Republicans." I said, "You know, if you kept on hitting your head against a wall over and over again and it started to hurt, at some point would you stop hitting your head against the wall?" He said, "You've got a point."Barack Obama
But at some point, you know that— you know what poem keeps going through my mind is, "first they came for the Jews." People, all of us, are like, "Well, this news doesn't really affect me." "Well, I'm not a bondholder." "Well, I'm not in the banking industry." "Well, I'm not a big CEO." "Well, I'm not on Wall Street." "Well, I'm not a car dealer." "I'm not an auto worker." Gang, at some point, they're going to come for you!
Glenn Beck
Three years ago, I bought a Beetle, not even thinking. [Audience laughs some] That's not the joke, shut up. I wasn't thinking, I bought the car, because it was affordable, economical, brand-new freakin' Beetle for $17,000. I was, like, "AHHH!" First new car, you know? I go to show it off at my friend Martin's house. I pull up, like, [Imitates car driving, then brakes screeching] "MARTEEEEEEEEEN!" He lives in the 'hood, I don't get out of the car. Across the street, there are these gang members, the kind of gang members that, they don't get into any gunfights, they just sit on the porch and talk alot of smack. And from across the street, I hear this. I was like, "MARTEEEEEEN!" Behind me, I hear, "Oralé!" [Looks behind] "Hey, what's up guys, hows it going?" "How did you get in there, essé?" [Gives an embarassed/angered look] "HURRY UP, MARTIN!" 2 months later, I come back to pick him up and I've had some time to work on the car. I put some rims on it, some stickers on it, I put a chip in the motor that makes it go faster, right? I thought I was bad, right? So I pull up, [Imitates car driving, tires screeching, and the moter reving] "MARTEEEEEN!" [Gesturing to the voice behind him] "Oralé!" [Gabriel shakes his head] Uh uh, I'm not turning around. "HEY!" Mmm-mm. "Hey!" I don't see you! "Yoo-hoo!" [Growls and turns around] WHAT?! "Check it out, it's the Fat and the Furious!"
Gabriel Iglesias
The Pythagoreans called the monad "intellect" because they thought that intellect was akin to the One; for among the virtues, they likened the monad to moral wisdom; for what is correct is one. And they called it "being," "cause of truth," "simple," "paradigm," "order," "concord," "what is equal among the greater and the lesser," "the mean between intensity and slackness," "moderation in plurality," "the instant now in time," and moreover they call it "ship," "chariot," "friend," "life," "happiness."
Iamblichus of Chalcis
Madonna
Madraiwiwi, Ratu Joni
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