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Oh God, the bed and breakfast! Why is it that British people can't cope with the idea of the paying guest? It's like you pay these people to stay there, but you try and act as inconspicuous as you possibly can. It's like no financial transaction's taken place. It's as though you've just imposed yourself off the street; and they think 'Who the f**k are you? You've not just paid me ?25, have you, to stay here?' First you try the lounge – the TV lounge. Suddenly you are in Poland – martial law – because there's a curfew. You're watching a film; the telly goes off at 11.30; a bloke standing over you, shouting 'I've got to get up at six o'clock this morning. What time are you going to bed?' – 'All right, yes; we're going now; we're going now.' You go up to bed with a sinking heart, which sinks even further when you open the door and find – ughh! - the MAUVE CANDLEWICK BEDSPREAD! Now this is a bad sign, because it is now on the cards that you are going to open up that bed and find MAUVE NYLON SHEETS. You get in there, and it's like sleeping between two pieces of velcro. (Linda Live, 1986)

 

Linda Smith

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"THE most important thing to keep in mind while making a record is always, always, always be sure you check the sheets before sleeping in someone else’s bed. When I was making the first Celldweller disc I was piss broke and I had to sleep wherever I could find a place to. Someone offered a place for me to stay one night and I was so exhausted I crashed without doing a thorough inspection of the sheets. Unfortunately for me, I woke up the next morning to discover I had been sleeping in his accumulated dried-up ejaculate deposits. Apparently he had been unloading his nutsac on the sheets and just leaving it there. Needless to say, we had a new respect and bond for each other after that incident. Oh, and I never slept in his bed again, regardless of how tired I was."

 

Klayton

 

What will you find behind the door that is one door away from Heaven? […] If your heart is closed, then you will find behind that door nothing to light your way. But if your heart is open, you will find behind that door people who, like you, are searching, and you will find the right door together with them. None of us can ever save himself; we are the instruments of one another's salvation, and only by the hope that we give to others do we lift ourselves out of the darkness into light.

 

Dean R. Koontz

 

There are three things that they could conceivably do... They could replace me immediately and have somebody else play Dillon. I’m okay with that because I think Dillon needs a reboot. It would be interesting to see somebody else’s take on him. Two, they could kill him, which I would hope they wouldn’t do, just because I would like the opportunity to maybe come back. Depending how they did that, I’d have to go back and shoot that. It would give me a chance to say goodbye and the opportunity to try to pull it together and act well one last time. That would be really profound for me. Or three, they’d have Dillon leave town. I would be wholly and entirely complimented if the door stayed open. I know that’s a lot to ask of them and the door can’t stay open for long. That’s just the rules of the game.

 

Scott Clifton

 

New York is baffling in that it's a city that prides itself on being an absolute shit-hole. It's like — there's nothing good here, people are proud of that, they're happy, "Oh, it's overpriced, and it's overpopulated, and it stinks like piss, and comics! — comics film specials here!" And they all open with a joke about, "Yeah, you spend 8 thousand dollars a month for 9 square feet!" And you go, "Well, why do you f**king live here?" Why do people stay here?.. But unfortunately, this is where comedy works — where people are the most miserable. Like, I'd rather be filming a special on a beach in Costa Rica in a tiki bar right now, but they don't need comedians, they're already smiling, they're already happy — naturally! So that's why I'm doing a special here — cause it's the last f**king place I wanna be.

 

Doug Stanhope

 

Some people think love is the end of the road, and if you're lucky enough to find it, you stay there. Other people say it just becomes a cliff you drive off, but most people who've been around awhile know it's just a thing that changes day by day, and depending on how much you fight for it, you get it, or you hold on to it, or you lose it, but sometimes it's never even there in the first place.

 

Colum McCann