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I'm not wearing any pants and the lesbians are waiting!

 

Kathy Griffin

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Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?

 

Jack Benny

 

Hi, I'm Patrick Stump. And I'm wearing Pete's pants.

 

Patrick Stump

 

And then who comes along to save the day? A couple of tool-belt wearing, golf-loving, Dinah Shore weekend lesbians sent from heaven.

 

Kathy Griffin

 

Men always made crude jokes about people pissing their pants with fear, but in Sokolov’s experience, shitting the pants was more common if it was a straightforward matter of extreme emotional stress. Pants pissing was completely unproductive and suggested a total breakdown of elemental control. Pants shitting, on the other hand, voided the bowels and thereby made blood available to the brain and the large muscle groups that otherwise would have gone to the lower-priority activity of digestion. Sokolov could have forgiven Peter for shitting his pants, but if he had pissed his pants, then it really would have been necessary to get rid of him.

 

Neal Stephenson

 

... And if you are a man wearing capri pants...? [Laughter] You need to take your guy card out of your wallet and pass it forward. Then... yeah, then, on the way home I want you to buy a tube of Vagasil, a VW convertible, and have your boyfriend drive you the rest of the way home, 'cause you are dismissed.

 

Christopher Titus