(Recalling her speech at an AMFAR event that was intended to be a parody of Sharon Stone's earlier speech, reciting the lyrics to John Lennon's "Imagine".) Ladies and gentlemen, I am so honored to be here and Sharon spoke so eloquently before that it reminded me of something I once read a long time ago. You ain't nothin but a hound dog. Oh, gosh, that reminds me, many years ago I was walking down the street in Memphis and I said, "Whoa- that's Elvis"...and I f**ked him. I f**ked him hard. I did, I did. Sure, he called me 'Cilla the whole time, but I didn't mind. (sobbing) Cryin' all the time, well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.
Kathy Griffin
» Kathy Griffin - all quotes »
When Sharon Stone asks you to do something, you just just do it. If Sharon Stone asked me to eat her poo, I'd be like "yeah, what's a good time for you?".(Pretending to eat poo) "This is really good poo Sharon, thanks".(To the audience) Stop picturing it...........and come back!
Kathy Griffin
I gave a speech in Omaha. After the speech I went to a reception elsewhere in town. A sweet old lady came up to me, put her gloved hand in mine, and said, "I hear you spoke here tonight." "Oh, it was nothing," I replied modestly. "Yes," the little old lady nodded, "that's what I heard."
Jerry Ford
I gave a speech in Omaha. After the speech I went to a reception elsewhere in town. A sweet old lady came up to me, put her gloved hand in mine, and said, "I hear you spoke here tonight." "Oh, it was nothing," I replied modestly. "Yes," the little old lady nodded, "that's what I heard."
Gerald Ford
After Ariel Sharon's severe stroke: "Ladies and Gentlemen I said last year that Israel was entering into the most dangerous periods of its entire existence as a nation. That is intensifying this year with the loss of Sharon. Sharon was personally a very likeable person and I am sad to see him in this condition, but I think we need to look at the Bible and the Book of Joel. The prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has enmity against those who 'divide my land.' God considers this land to be His. You read the Bible and He says 'this is my land' and for any Prime Minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says 'no, this is mine.' I had a wonderful meeting with Yitzhak Rabin in 1974. He was tragically assassinated, it was a terrible thing that happened but nevertheless he was dead. And now Ariel Sharon who again was a very likeable person, a delightful person to be with, I prayed with him personally, but here he's at the point of death. He was dividing God's land and I would say woe unto any Prime Minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the EU, the United Nations, or the United States of America. God says 'this land belongs to me. You'd better leave it alone.'" — 2006
Pat Robertson
Griffin, Kathy
Griffin, Kenneth
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